It’s everyone’s favorite game, and maybe the reason Timmo quit! – Welcome to WHO! FUCKED! UPPPP! An occasional check-in at the second most painful way to lose (behind the obvious kick to the nuts that is the STAT CORRECTION) – benching your studs!
This year the scoring is adjusted a little, with 50 and 100 points gaffs being more forgivable, while those 200+ point fuckups are gonna hurt you a little more.
Are you a powerhouse who benches performers just to prove you don’t need them to win this week? Are a studious prepper who can see all the angles and therefore you always start the right guys? Perhaps you went all out on your starters and your bench is so bad you never need to make real decisions?! That third one is actually the reason there will be no cash payout for Coach of the Year in 2026.
Anywho, let’s get a baseline after week one and see who started off 2026 the right way, and who instead chose to trust Kyle Pitts again…
| # | Coach | Loss | 50-99 | 100-199 | 200-299 | 300+ | Total | Points |
| 1 | Shaun | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 1 | Matt | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 3 | Ryan | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| 3 | Kaiser | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| 3 | Jones | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| 6 | Jim | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
| 7 | Trigger | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 |
| 8 | Josh | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 |
| 9 | Dave | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 6 |
| 9 | Kronner | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 6 |
| 11 | Kyle | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 13 |
| 12 | Chris | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 19 |
Oof, you’d thing the Commish would know better by now. Pitts is the Scott Mitchell of TEs – only shows up when it doesn’t matter, like when he’s on the waiver wire.
Shaun and Matt start the year off with flawless decision making efforts. Even the presence of multiple productive LB’s on the New Guy bench didn’t spoil his year two coming out party – King of the Week, Biggest Blowout and he’s perfect on lineup decisions – not bad for a guy who probably drafted from a bunker in the middle of some far off desert.
On the flip side it was actually I who made the most mistakes, first most apparently was drafting Myles Garrett. I had three different mistakes of over 100 points each sitting on my bench. Lucky for me, Dave had almost as many.
Perhaps the most painful one here though is Kyle. As the rules are written, we don’t count differences of fewer than 50 points, so while he technically didn’t have any official coaching errors, he’d still been awarded a Coaching Loss because the 46 point difference between LaPorta (who we all would have started) and Juwan Johnson would have been more than enough to cover his 2-point loss to Jim.
CHRIS WATCHING THE FALCONS OFFSENSE;
