After two plus decades of league play, we’ve tested some systems, played briefly with keepers, and developed some quirks. We’ve repeatedly tried to implement 12th place penalties, though I don’t think any have ever been followed through on (doesn’t Trigger owe some one a car wash?), but the one that seems to have taken hold, and gets a little more creative each year is the Thor Bowls.
THE DARK WORLD BOWL and LOVE AND THUNDER BOWL
Steve and Chris have kicked off a fun tradition of revolving around Marvel’s more inconsistent franchise, Thor. It all started years ago when Steve borrowed a Thor: The Dark World blu-ray from CTan, and never returned it, mostly thanks to dual-apathy. The tradition, which now seems to alternate between the brain rot that are the second and fourth Thor movies, has added something to the budding rivalry.
- 2023: Week 9 – Chris wins 1926 – 1721
- 2022: Week 10 – Chris wins 1913 – 1788
- 2022: Week 3 – Steve wins 2289 – 1912
- 2021: Week 7 – Steve wins 2249 – 1822
NO RAGRETS BOWL
Davers and Timmo battled out their Week 8 matchup with some firepower left on the bench. Dave’s monster pickup of future HOF’er Taysum Hill saw 226 points left on the bench in favor of a Kyle Pitts 50-burger. As it turned out, Hill wouldn’t have won the game anyhow, but during that Sunday, it sure felt like it could be a Coaching Loss. That is, if you ignore the 358 point bomb that D-Hop dropped on Timmo’s bench. If Dave had pulled off a win, it might have broken Timmy.
So both manager adopted a(n optimistic) policy of ‘No Regerts’ about the outcome. It remains yet to be determined if this kind of FF mastery will be repeated the next time these teams play, so we’ll just have how it develops, most likely affecting Tim’s anxiety more than anything else.
THE DEEP RISING BOWL
So this year we learned about Tim’s shallowly repressed love for 1998 Treat Williams classic Deep Rising, a seminal masterwork of tension building that crescendos all over your face in an ecstasy of peak ’90s acting prowess.
At some point, probably when we were all drunk, Tim let slip that he’d love to show visceral feelings for the film in a more outward fashion, and someone proposed this bargin, to make Timmo “unwillingly” have to change his team name, so as to maintain the illusion of distain, and avoid admitting to his craft beer crowd that he too, loves mainstream blockbuster hits, such as this, and the Chris Tucker/Charlie Sheen opus, Money Talks.
*chef’s kiss*
THE PJM BOWL!
The trash talk between Dave and Steve has evolved into the first annual Piss Jug Man Bowl! For which there is a legit prize.
- 2023: Week 13 – Steve wins 2459 to 2106
THE BARBARIAN BOWL
This one still has a PENDING on it, only way to happen this season if Kronner and Jones meet in the playoffs, at which point you’ll all be subjects to memes and gifs of a barbaric nature for at least a week.
Much like the Thor Bowls, this one will likely have a financial penalty of some sort, as the loser will have to “gift” a barbarian related item to the winner conqueror.
To hold you over, here is the trailer for the 1987 Oscar Winner(?), The Barbarians.
What did I forget? Who else wants to add a little flair to league, ideas?
- KREGER BOWL – Craig must beat his brother to regain his name?
- SOUTHWEST SPITE BOWL – Kaiser and C Tan battle it out over years of commissioner-related attacks by the Texas Blackhat?
- THE SC SPITE BOWL – Matt and C Tan battle it out over years of commissioner-related attacks by SECOND DECK?
- THE MACGYVER BOWL – Trigger vs Kronner, winner gets a MacGyver related prize, loser must grow out a mullet.
- THE TROPHY BOWL – Kaiser vs Kyle, a grudge match among strangers, the loser must mail a new trophy (of their choosing) to the winner after every match. (Some Assembly Required probably).
- THE BATIATUS BOWL – Sanchez and Kronner, loser must become a Gladiator and see how long they can survive in combat, this is a one-time-only bowl, obviously.
HISTORY
| BOWL GAMES | ||
| Chris | Steve | |
| Thor | 2022 (W10) | 2021 (W7) |
| 2023 (W9) | 2022 (W3) | |
| No Regerts | Dave | Timmo |
| 2023 (W9) | ||
| Deep Rising | Kronner | Timmo |
| 2023 (W7) | ||
| PJM BOWL | Dave | Steve |
| 2023 (W13) | ||
| Barbarian Bowl | Jones | Kronner |
| Pending | Pending | |
SC League Forever 