what we have here, is a failure, to communicate lack of competence
In the first of two posts, I focused on 2001-2010. Now I present you, 2011-2019, Have fun reliving the misery.*A lot of the old seasons do not have complete stats intact, so most of these numbers will be based off their NFL totals for that season, not necessarily the Fantasy totals. For example, if a guy played 15 games, but you didn’t make the playoffs, you would have only played 13.
2011 – Jamaal Charles
Draft Idiot – Timmy (6-7, 7th place)
Draft Slot – #5 (5th RB taken)
Welcome to the show Timbo! After keeping his head down for the first decade, McLeod kicks off our second post with a tragic selection, like so many other selections on the first list – a Kansas City halfback. Following in the fine tradition of Larry Johnson and Priest Holmes, Jamaal Charles totally earned a first-round grade following a 2010 season that saw him accumulate over 1900 yds, catch 46 balls and hit the endzone 8 times. 2011 however, went a little differently following an early-season injury. By the third week of September, Timmy was waving goodbye to his top selection and saying hello to…Dolphins TE Dustin Keller. Ouch.
Stats: 2 Games (NFL Totals)
Rushing: 83 yds, 0 TDs, 1 Fumble (lost)
Receiving: 5 catches for 9 yds, 1 TD
2011 Points: 142
2011 Average: 71 ppg
2019 Points: 142
2019 Average: 71 ppg
*Catches are worth more in 2011, Fumbles hurt less in 2019
Runner Up – Andre Johnson: #6 (Byrd)
7 gms, 33 Catches for 492 yds, 2 TDs (131 ppg)
2012 – RYAN MATTHEWS
Draft Idiot – Toepel (3-10, 12th place)
Draft Slot – #10 (5th RB taken)
I will forever remember 2012 as the year Kaiser had the first 2 picks in the draft (thanks to a trade the previous year with Byrd), took Calvin (who just missed 2000 yds) and Ray Rice – and barely made the playoffs. He was the 8 seed, going 6-7 for the regular season, and then rolled through the playoffs (by a margin of about 430 points a game) to win the championship. But that’s not what this is about. This is about the worst pick, and while we all had a pretty decent year this time around, Toepel hit the bad luck bullseye with Ryan Matthews, who was a Charger at the time.
It was his third year in the league and was supposed to break-out any minute. The breakout never really happened, and while this is actually one of his better seasons, he still finished with only 1299 points on the year, which is no way to produce for a first-round back.
Stats: 12 Games (Fantasy Actual)
Rushing: 707 yds, 1 TD, 2 Fumbles (Both Lost)
Receiving: 39 catches for 252 yds.
2012 Points: 1299
2012 Average: 108 ppg
2019 Points: 1349
2019 Average: 112 ppg
Runner Up – No one worth mentioning.
2013 – Holy Shit, We All Suck?
Well, if 2012 was a solid year for drafting, 2013 made up for it. This year is formatted a little differently. Here’s what the Draft looked like…
1. Adrian Peterson (Toepel) – 2217 points
2. Doug Martin (Trigger) – 666 points
3. Calvin Johnson (Kronner) – 3012 points
4. Drew Brees (Ryan) – 6199 points
5. Marshawn Lynch (Timmy) – 2681 points
6. Ray Rice (Matt) – 1721 points
7. Tom Brady (Josh) – 4236 points
8. C.J. Spiller (Dave) – 1522 points
9. Arian Foster (C Tan) – 1045 points
10. Trent Richardson (Byrd) – 1369 points
11. LeSean McCoy (Jones) – 3306 points
12. Alfred Morris (Kaiser) – 1633 points
At first glance, most of those numbers don’t look TOO bad, until you remember this is the era of inflated scoring, where even mediocre RBs should have at least 2000 points – as you’ll see in a minute.
So let’s start with who fucked up the least, that’s easier. Jones got the highest scoring RB of this group with McCoy, and then took Peyton in the next round (highest scoring QB), so it’s pretty easy to see how he won the league that year. But that still doesn’t mean he chose right – let’s look at a little closer.
Ryan took Brees, who was the 2nd best QB that year by a wide margin, so while not perfect, Brees was closer to being ranked first than third, so it’s still a solid pick at #4.
Kronner took Calvin, who was the third best WR that year, behind Antonio Brown (Sixth Rd. to Tan) and Brandon Marshall (Second Rd to Ryan). So while Calvin had good production, #3 overall was probably a little high – especially when you see Kronner went the whole year without any sort of ground game. Best RB on his squad – Steven Jackson, with less than 1500 points. That makes this pick…bad.
Then we look at Josh, who with the seventh pick took the second QB of the draft – Tom Brady. We’ve already discussed that Manning was the best, and he went later. And Brees was #2, so where does Brady fall?
* denotes First Round pick.
| Rank | Player | Points | Draft Spot | Manager |
| 1 | P. Manning | 6576 | 14 | Jones |
| 2 | D. Brees* | 6199 | 4 | Ryan |
| 3 | P. Rivers | 4801 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 4 | M. Stafford | 4724 | 27 | Kronner |
| 5 | A. Luck | 4714 | 82 | Byrd |
| 6 | A. Dalton | 4599 | 159 | Byrd |
| 7 | T. Brady* | 4236 | 7 | Josh |
| 8 | C. Newton | 4224 | 26 | Trigger |
| 9 | T. Romo | 4206 | 81 | C Tan |
| 10 | N. Foles | 4206 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 11 | Big Ben | 4180 | 217 | Toepel |
| 12 | R. Wilson | 4036 | 37 | Kaiser |
| 13 | M. Ryan | 4030 | 30 | Matt |
Yeah, that’s not great for Josh. The rest of you took running backs. Let’s see how that went.
| Rank | Player | Points | Draft Spot | Manager |
| 1 | J. Charles | 3660 | 16 | C Tan |
| 2 | M. Forte | 3383 | 13 | Kaiser |
| 3 | L. McCoy* | 3306 | 11 | Jones |
| 4 | K. Moreno | 2846 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 5 | M. Lynch* | 2683 | 3 | Timmy |
| 6 | D. Murray | 2484 | 59 | Jones |
| 7 | E. Lacy | 2345 | 63 | Byrd |
| 8 | C. Johnson | 2302 | 24 | Toepel |
| 9 | F. Jackson | 2273 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 10 | R. Bush | 2242 | 29 | Timmy |
| 11 | A. Peterson* | 2217 | 1 | Toepel |
| 12 | D. Woodhead | 2157 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 13 | G. Bernard | 2149 | 107 | Jones |
| 14 | Joique Bell | 2137 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 15 | P. Thomas | 2093 | Undrafted | n/a |
| 16 | L. Bell | 2079 | 113 | Dave |
| 17 | R. Matthews | 2034 | Undrafted | n/a |
| – | R. Rice* | 1721 | 6 | Matt |
| – | A. Morris* | 1633 | 12 | Kaiser |
| – | C. Spiller* | 1522 | 8 | Dave |
| – | T. Richardson* | 1369 | 10 | Byrd |
| – | A. Foster* | 1045 | 9 | C Tan |
| – | D. Martin* | 666 | 2 | Trigger |
This is a league full of miscalculations. Jones and Ryan (who followed up Brees with the second best WR next) aside, the rest of us pretty much shit the bed in 2013.
That said, this provided an opportunity for some nice pickups late in the draft. Namely, the 9th rd. or later, with at least 3000 points and not counting those already mentioned above…
- N. Bowman – #99 (R9) – 3755 points (Kronner)
- J. Gordon – #118 (R10) – 3264 points (Kronner)
- J. Freeman – #128 (R11) – 3115 points (Dave)
- V. Burfict – #138 (R12) – 3620 points (Josh)
2014 – Adrian Peterson
Draft Idiot – Ryan (3-10, 12th place)
Draft Slot – #4 (3rd RB taken)
Bad luck was bound to catch up with Ryan eventually, and that’s what happened in 2014. Peterson went down in week one with a severe case of SUSPENDED FOR CHILD ABUSE after week one. AP would have only one more dominant season after that year (in 2015), though he is still chugging along racking up stats late in his career, and collecting a sizable paycheck.
Stats: 1 Game (NFL Totals)
Rushing: 75 yds, 0 TDs, 0 Fumbles
Receiving: 2 Catches, 18 yds, 0 TDs
2014 Points: 113
2014 Average: 113 ppg
2019 Points: 103
2019 Average: 103 ppg
Runner Up – No one close.
IN 2015 WE NORMALIZED SCORING
2015 – The Fifth Element…of Suck
Draft Idiots – Tim, Jim, Ryan, Mark, and Trigger
Wow, here we go again. While not as bad as 2013, this is pretty ugly. Going through the stats I thought I would be the worst here, as Matt Forte got a disappointing 1892 that season (145 ppg), but as I went, the numbers just kept getting uglier. Let’s get a quick snapshot of what these five teams did…
#2. Andrew Luck – 2202 (Ryan)
#3. Marshawn Lynch – 757 (Jim)
#5. Jamaal Charles – 719 (Timmy)
#7. Eddie Lacy – 1256 (Kaiser)
#12. C.J. Anderson – 1358 (Trigger)
Ok, so we all know those totals are ugly, but how much is due to Injury vs. Suck? Let’s look at averages;
#2. Andrew Luck – 314 ppg (Ryan)
#3. Marshawn Lynch – 108 ppg (Jim)
#5. Jamaal Charles – 143 ppg (Timmy)
#7. Eddie Lacy – 83 ppg (Kaiser)
#12. C.J. Anderson – 90 ppg (Trigger)
Alright, so we can see Luck was averaging over 300 a game which is solid, and what you’d except for a QB taken that high. He got through seven games before his season was over, so while it sucks, and it’s still Bottom Five pick, I won’t kill Ryan over it.
Lynch also appeared in seven games, but his 108 ppg is pretty shitty for a Top 3 pick. Something about this is poetic though – Toepel worked for Boeing when he lived in Seattle, and Lynch was playing for Seattle at the time and scored 757 points? Pretty trippy. He’s my fourth worst pick here.
Then you get Trigger with this CJ Anderson garbage – what the shit were you thinking? There’s not even an injury here, the guy just lost his starting job. The only reason you’re not WORST PICK, you were 12th, and that shit has to be weighted – but 90 ppg is an embarrassment. Feel bad about yourself.
Second-worst pick goes to Rev. Kaiser, who used to the #7 pick to take professional fatass Eddie Lacy and rightfully got fucked by him. This is another case of a guy who played all year – and just sucked. No injury excuse.
So – the worst? You’re probably asking how it can possibly be anyone other than Lacy or Anderson – especially since those turds staying healthy forced Trigger and Kaiser to waste a roster spot by holding onto them all season. WELL – I’m giving this one to Timmy and his plenty decent 143 ppg Jamaal Charles pick. Why you might ask? SEE 2011. It’s bad enough to get greedy and take a dude with injury history, gambling with a Top 5 pick, but it’s even worse when that same fucking guy already cost you a ten games just a few years earlier. Jamaal Charles only played five games in 2015 (two more than he played last time Tim drafted him), and Zombie Timbo entered year two of his (current) six-year playoff drought.
2016 – Adrian Peterson
Draft Idiot – Trigger (5-8, 7th Place)
Draft Slot – #9 (4th RB taken)
The more these I do the more I realize we’re not great at this. And while Chris, Timmy, Jones, and I were all no doubt disappointed in the turnout we got that year from Lamar Miller, DeAndre Hopkins, AJ Green and Todd Gurley respectively, Toepel did worse. And Trigger, worse yet even.
Adrian Peterson served his 15-game suspension in 2014 and came back to have a pretty nice 2015. But 2016 didn’t start out nearly as good – he wasn’t even productive before getting hurt. This was his last season with the Vikings, and in 2017 he’d split the season between the Saints and Cards. Everyone thought he was done, but he’s shown signs of life for the Redskins the last two years. But that doesn’t help the 2016 Dutchmen at all, as they just missed the playoffs that season, and had to fill in his expected production with guys like Duke Johnson and Darren Sproles before eventually trading his two best defenders (J. Freeman and Lavonte David) to the Skippers for Lesean McCoy. McCoy outscored David by only 123 points that season, and Freeman scored about 2200 himself. That’s hard to swallow if you’re the Dutchman.
Stats: 3 Games (NFL Totals)
Rushing: 72 yards, 1 lost fumble
Receiving: 3 catches, 8 yards,
No TDs of any sort
2016 Points: 70
2016 Average: 23 ppg
Runner Up – Rob Gronkowski: #5 (Toepel)
8 gms, 25 catches, 540 yds, 3 TDs (163 ppg)
2017 – David Johnson
Draft Idiot – C Tan (6-7, 10th Place)
Draft Slot – #1 (1st RB taken)
Wow. I would feel bad if I hadn’t been cheering for it when he got hurt. Week one. Against the Lions. It’s just crippling when this kind of stuff happens with the #1 pick, since you have to wait to pick #24 to make another selection. With his next two picks Tan took Lamar Miller and Demaryius Thomas, who would both going to greatly underperform, and his season was pretty much over by pick #25 on draft night, he just didn’t know it yet.
Stats: 1 Game (NFL Stats)
Rushing: 23 yds, 0 TDs, 2 Fumbles Lost
Receiving: 6 catches, 67 yds.
2018 Points: 70
2018 Average: 70 ppg
For ‘runner up’ I was gonna say Aaron Rodgers, but in the seven games he played, he averaged over 300 for the 2-11 Nacho Team, AND they had Dak Prescott on the bench, who scored over 4000 points that season. So the record isn’t on the QB. So instead…
Runner Up – Demarco Murray #10 (Kaiser)
925 Total yds, 39 catches, 7 total TDs (99 ppg)
2018 – Le’Veon Bell
Draft Idiot – Trigger (3-10, 12th Place)
Draft Slot – #1 (1st RB taken)
Well, I mean, this one was pretty easy. Bell voluntarily sat out the whole season. All of it. And Trigger used the first overall pick to take him…I don’t know what else to say that could be funnier than that. Pretty sure this is the worst pick in league history?
Stats: 0 Games (NFL Stats)
Passing: 0 yds, 0 TDs, 0 INTS, Sacked 0 Times
Rushing: 0 yds, 0 TDs, 0 Fumbles (0 Lost), 0 Solo Tackles
2018 Points: 0
2018 Average: 0 ppg
Runner Up – Kareem Hunt: #11 (Kronner)
14 TDs & 1200 yds in 11 gms (182 ppg)
Suspended for Kicking a Woman,
thus fucking both the Chiefs and the Mallrats.
2019 – David Johnson
Draft Idiot – Matt (9-4, 2nd Place, currently)
Draft Slot – #9 (6th RB taken)
Matt is still alive in the playoffs – part of the Final Four – but that’s with very little thanks to his first pick David Johnson (who makes this list for the second time in three years). Carried instead by Packers RB Aaron Jones and a myriad of additions throughout the year, including Justin Jackson, Tony Pollard, Chase Edmonds, Tarik Cohen, Rashaad Penny, and now, straight from the Waiver Wire to Starting Lineup in the Semi-Finals, DeAndre Washington. On a hope and a prayer, Matt will face off against Mark for a chance to make it back to the championship game, in what would be his fifth appearance. Right now, he’s tied with the Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills at 0-4 in the big one. And where is David Johnson? Sitting on his bench, watching the show.
Stats: 10 Games (Fantasy Actual)
Rushing: 336 yds, 2 TDs, 1 Fumble Lost
Receiving: 35 Catches, 366 yds., 4 TDs
2019 Points: 1172 (so far)
2019 Average: 117 ppg
Runner Up – James Conner: #8 (Steve)
8 gms, 632 Total yds, 6 Total TDs (132 ppg)
Ok, so what did I mess up? Who is the worst? Which pick wasn’t as bad as I said, who was the worst I left off?
SC League Forever 